Healing from a High School Tragedy

A child’s teenage years are supposed to be carefree, fun and filled with delightful memories. However, when a tragedy occurs in a teenager’s life, all of the joy of adolescence is replaced with feelings of grief, anxiety and sadness. Going forward after a traumatic experience is hard for anyone, but it can be especially difficult when you are young. If you are a teen who has recently dealt with trauma, the tips below will help you move on.

1. Talk about your feelings.

If you have survived a tragedy, such as the recent shooting right here at Arapahoe High School, you need to talk about the way the experience affected your life. Were you friends with any of the victims? Did you know the person who committed the crime? Talking about your personal experience with the tragedy will help you move on from it. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends or family, consider making an appointment with a professional, such as a teen psychologist.

2. Connect with others.

After dealing with a tragedy, you may feel like you have no one to turn to. In some cases, you may even feel like you want to be by yourself. However, isolating yourself from others is not the best way to deal with your feelings. In order to repair the emotional damage, you must reach out to others for support. Spend time with friends and family, talk to other people who were affected by the tragedy and do your best to get back to your normal activities.

3. Try to get your life back to normal.

With all of the stress of the event, it is easy to get off your normal sleep routine and eating schedules. Try to get a good nights sleep every night. Even if you are not hungry, try to eat three times a day to help regulate your body. If you are having trouble sleeping, this is normal. However, talk with your parents if it continues for more than three days.

4. Give back to the community.

One of the best ways to truly heal from a tragedy is to give something back. Find a way to turn this negative experience into something positive. Examples of giving back include pursuing service-related careers, getting involved in community service or simply sharing your experience with others who are dealing with tragedies of their own.

Even with the best coping strategies, it’s never easy to overcome a tragedy in your life. If you or someone you love is having a hard time because of a recent traumatic experience, don’t hesitate to get the help you need. Have your parents contact a qualified child psychologist to begin the healing process.

What’s Your Parenting Style?

What’s Your Parenting Style?

Promoting the self-discipline and self-esteem of one’s children often requires an emotional juggling act by parents. It is not easy to be firm and demanding one minute, then warm and affectionate the next. In addition, some adults naturally have personalities or temperaments that predispose them toward one parenting style or the other.
Authoritarian Parenting
Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring obedience and respect above all else. They become overly angry and forceful when they don’t get that obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance appear totally conditional to the child. They do not listen to their kids or explain the reason for their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. They often see their children’s individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious, mistrustful and discontented. These children are often overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is often poor.
Permissive Parenting
Parents who overemphasize the self-esteem side of the equation are referred to as permissive. They may be warm and supportive, but they are not good disciplinarians. They make only weak demands for good behavior and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior. They seem to believe that children should grow up without any anger, tears or frustrations. They reinforce demanding and inconsiderate behavior from their children. Their love and acceptance are “unconditional” in the worst sense of the word, for they set few limits on what their children do. Research has shown that permissive parents tend to produce children who are more immature, demanding and dependent. These children are often rejected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and hard to interpret, for they often blame others for their misfortunes.
The Authoritative Parenting Model
Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate high-but not unrealistic-demands for their children’s behavior. They expect good things from their kids and reinforce those things when they occur. When kids act up, on the other hand, authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and sensitive to a child’s needs. They are supportive of a child’s individuality and encourage growing independence. Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate high-but not unrealistic-demands for their children’s behavior. They expect good things from their kids and reinforce those things when they occur. When kids act up, on the other hand, authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and sensitive to a child’s needs. They are supportive of a child’s individuality and encourage growing independence.
Source:

1-2-3 Magic Newsletter by Dr. Thomas Phelan © 2013

Simple, straightforward parenting advice and helpful tips from Dr. Phelan’s award-winning, best-selling 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Program. To learn more visit www.123magic.com .