3 Ways Couples Therapy Can Significantly Help Your Relationship

Couples Therapy

Nothing is perfect. We accept this in everything we experience in our lives, including our relationships. But when it comes to the people that matter the most in our life, even though we shouldn’t seek perfection, we shouldn’t let problems and conflicts harm a relationship. There are small problems, which over time cause harm, and then there’s big problems which can really feel impossible to solve. Whether you are struggling with small issues, or big problems, it may be time to step back, assess the situation, and bring in a third party, such as a couples therapist

 

This is where an experienced Littleton couple’s therapist comes in, and if you’re considering getting some help, here are three ways that couples therapy can improve your relationship.

1 – Better Communication

Communication is the absolute bedrock of any successful relationship, and, unsurprisingly, can often be the biggest causes of problems. Depending on the personal situation, there can be any number of reasons for a breakdown or difficulty in communication. One partner may be naturally introverted and less prone to speaking up. Another partner may have simply never had an opportunity or vehicle to safely express their emotions, and subsequently doesn’t know how. Not feeling heard or understood can cause a person to shut down, or get very frustrated and angry.

 

By bringing a neutral mediator into a discussion, clear channels of communication can be established, and, through couple’s therapy, better techniques can lead to increased communication between couples to use in everyday life, not just in a therapeutic setting.

2 – New Coping Tools

For many, when an argument or disagreement occurs, unhealthy coping mechanisms are potentially unpleasant and often unproductive. Simply walking out of an argument, giving “the silent treatment,” or even separating and sleeping in separate rooms—or other locations entirely—are closer to retaliatory actions than a means of resolving a problem.

 

Couples therapy can introduce new tools to a couple to use when there’s a problem that needs to be resolved. Yelling, arguing and similar reactions don’t fix things. Working together with a sincere desire to make things better is easier to do when couples have better coping strategies to deal with life when things aren’t working out.

3 – Gain an Understanding of Each Other

One of the biggest obstacles to couples being in a harmonious relationship is often basic misunderstanding. Couples therapy gives a couple a safe, carefully controlled environment in which to explore the heart of certain issues. Understanding each other is critically important in being able to successfully resolve problems.

 

This is a chance for couples to say what matters, explore unrecognized feelings and honestly confront what they really want or don’t want. By being honest, loving, and patient, couples have a much greater chance of working together to develop win/ win solutions.

 

Littleton couples therapy doesn’t have to be just for troubled marriages. Any couple, whether it’s a new relationship wanting to start off on the right foot, or a couple simply wanting to improve what’s already there, can experience real, powerful, lifelong benefits by taking the time to strengthen a relationship through couples therapy.

 

Additional Article: Do we need to see a couples therapist?

Dr. Steven Lazarus can help you work through any couples therapy issues you may have.

Common Challenges of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, or ADHD is not a new condition. It was first documented as far back as 1798, and in the 21st century has been getting increased attention, both positive and negative. In some cases, ADHD has gotten so much attention that some—disparagingly—refer to it as the new “female hysteria,” which was a catch-all diagnosis ascribed to women for centuries to describe any abnormal symptoms or behavior. Today, it is no longer considered a real condition and in some circles, there is a similar belief about ADHD.

 

But ask any parent of a child with ADHD and it’s clear that not only is this a real condition, it has a profound effects on everyone within a family.

Divided Resources

An ADHD child is going to require more time and attention to properly treat and interact with, there’s no getting around this. If a child disobeys instructions, it is not willful defiance; he or she simply hasn’t heard you. These children lack “executive functionality,” which means their ability to plan, exert self-control, and act on long term goals is impaired and the parent must stand in as the executive function until it develops.

 

This also means that it can be a challenge to balance the time and resources required for an ADHD child with other aspects of the family. This is especially true if there are other siblings, who will notice the increased attention an ADHD child gets compared to their own situation.

Social Friction

An ADHD child is prone to impulsive words and behavior, once again because of that lack of executive function, has challenges in being able to concentrate, think things through, and plan. Because of this, they may say and do things inappropriate to a situation, and this can cause difficulties within a family situation. Siblings are likely to get into arguments as play is disrupted, or other activities are put to a halt to help the ADHD child.

 

In public situations like school, other children may react badly to the impulsive words and behavior of an ADHD child and it’s possible that fights with children and disagreements with teachers may arise. These scenarios tend to play out as an ADHD child speaks out of turn, or simply loses interest in whatever is happening in the classroom.

Problems at School

Perhaps the most common—and dreaded—challenge that families with an ADHD child face is difficulties with schoolwork, and subsequent poor performance with assignments and grades. ADHD makes it extremely difficult for children to sit still, focus, and concentrate on longer, mental tasks, and this is one of the primary activities during a normal day of school. As a result, ADHD children, full of energy and shifting attentions will often experience behavioral and academic difficulties.

 

This can result in disciplinary actions at school from teachers and other staff, cause possible conflicts with other students, and result in poor grades and behavior assessments, all of which can have a dramatic effect on a child’s emerging future opportunities.

 

The challenges of having an ADHD child and the toll this can have on parents are well documented. We can give you the coping strategies that both you and your child can benefit from. ADHD can bring a lot of issues into a family’s life, but that doesn’t mean it has to ruin it, and experienced Littleton ADHD counselors, we are here to help.

Read more: Signs your child may need an ADHD Assessment

Contact Dr. Steven Lazarus, Licensed Psychologist in Littleton Colorado if you need help with you child or teen.