The Parent’s Guide to Strengthening the Husband-Wife Bond

For many couples who commit their lives to each other, having children is often the next natural step in the relationship. And while some couples assume that having kids will automatically smooth over any rockiness in the relationship, the opposite is usually true. Raising a family can be just as stressful as it is wonderful, and often that stress can lead to even more problems. But having kids doesn’t have to mean the end of a couple, and it is possible for couples to strengthen their bond while still being parents, it just takes a little extra effort.

Have Alone Time Together

Finding time to spend alone together as a couple can be challenging when you have kids, especially for new and first-time parents. When a couple first gets together, the dating process is all about getting to know each other. After a couple has kids, this process begins anew, because people and relationships change when children come along.

 

Time alone with your spouse, therefore, is important for many reasons, including that it lets you relax together, allows you to enjoy each others company without the stresses of home getting in the way, and it keeps you connected as you grow as individuals and a couple on the new path of parenthood. On top of scheduling regular date nights, have a list of trusted babysitters on-hand in case you want to arrange an impromptu night together or if one sitter falls through on plans. Feel free to use grandparents if you are lucky enough to have them nearby.

Make Time for Intimacy

After having a child, intimacy can take a backseat for a while as you recover from the birth and adjust to the routine with a new baby in your life. But when it’s comfortable again, it’s very important for couples with children to make time for intimacy. A good rule is when on a date, don’t talk about the kids. Looking forward to time spent together keeps your connection strong and makes parenting easier. Many couples learn how to your marriage healthy and strong during a busy lifestyle with techniques addressed at Highland Ranch couples therapy by Dr. Lazarus

 

Schedule a parent business meeting

Since you are planning dates where the rule is to not talk about the kids, you need to have a set time when you can talk about the kids. Leave the home if possible and meet for coffee or lunch. Plan on spending about 30 minutes a week going over schedules, appointments, kid activities, and any issues or concerns you are having with a child. Develop a plan together as partners for addressing these concerns and then regroup next week to discuss how things went.

Schedule a Daily Check-in

Life with kids can often be so busy that it seems you never have a moment to yourself. But when it comes to you and your partner, you need to make time. Even if you just have a quick chat each night before bed, a talk in the morning before the kids are up, or a lunchtime phone call to check in, it’s important that you talk to each other about your days, your goals, your feelings, and anything that might be bothering you. This will keep the lines of communication open and provide you both with a safe space to talk, open up, and ensure nothing is getting bottled up or ignored.

Stay Active Together

Raising kids often takes most of your time and energy as a parent, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your own physical health. Staying active together is a great way for you and your partner to stay connected, and it can give you family time or alone time doing something fun and new together. You don’t always have to follow the same routine, either: you can go for a family walk one week, out dancing alone together the next, then for a family bike ride, followed by a couple’s hike the week later.

 

Dr. Lazarus’s Highlands Ranch couples therapy sessions focus on the need for parents to make an effort to spend more time together as a husband and wife and to separate out the parenting piece of the relationship. It can be difficult for parents to find time for these things, but connectedness, communication, and time spent together are crucial for couples who want to strengthen their bond, especially when children are involved.

To find out more about how you can make the most of your time together and learn to communicate more effectively,

call today to schedule an appointment or fill out the contact form.

 

Private Practice 101

This is an outline of a guide for professionals considering private practice. Dr. Lazarus, a psychologist in Littleton, Colorado would be happy to do a phone consultation with you to discuss these issues at length. This process can help you decide if private practice is for you and if so, the steps needed to have a successful practice with as many clients as you would like.

Please feel free to Contact Dr. Lazarus if you are seeking further advice or supervision.

  • Niche
  • Marketing
  • Location
  • Paperwork, Records
  • Money, legal, accounting

Why do a private practice?

Advantages: Freedom to do what you want, see who you want. You can have your ideal clients. No boss other than your clients, no mandatory meetings or trainings. You have complete autonomy. You have flexibility and can set your own schedule. You can make much more money. It’s fun, you can be creative, grow, change what you’re doing

Disadvantages: You have to do your own marketing; It can be isolating and lonely. You don’t have a consistent income.

1) Niche

What is your specialty? Who do you like to work with? Who do you want to come in? Groups, Individual, couples, population, children, divorce, GLBT, Bereavement, substance abuse

2) Marketing: (Create a funnel system for people to find you) Evaluate your Rate of Return of each system.

  • Web site (creating a website), what should it say, how do people find you i. Blogging, Google Adwords
  • Lunches with professionals (RATE OF RETURN)
  • Do a free talk about a topic
  • Local paper (write an article, do an interview)
  • Insurance companies, managed care panels, Psychology today, Theratribe
  • Physicians, doctors’ offices

3) Location, Location, Location: Where can you make a difference? Is it therapist central or are you unique. Where do you find your clients?

  • Windows vs. interior, size, furniture, play therapy equipment.
  • Rent someone else’s space by the hour, half day, full day until you’re up and running vs. jump in head first with full rent
  • Your own space vs. multi room suite (strongly recommend multi room), kitchen, built in referrals, shared expenses.

4) Paperwork, Records

  1. Know your professional standards. In Colorado, look at DORA for requirements. i. Mandatory Disclosure Statement
  • Releases of Information
  • Intake Paperwork, forms
  • Progress Notes (DAP, SOAP)
    • Doing notes during sessions vs. after?
  • Treatment plans
  • Discharge paperwork

A note about HIPPA: If you transmit any client information electronically, you need to be HIPPA compliant

5) Storage and keeping of records and information

  • Paper records, locked up (3 locks)
  • Computer, laptop (Encrypted)
  • Storage and retention of records(10years) 5) Money, Legal, Accounting
  • How much do you charge per session? Sliding fee models vs. no Sliding fee
  • Malpractice Insurance
  • Office Liability Insurance
  • Taxes: Self Employed, LLC, Corporation
    • Schedule C for business
    • Track money in and expenses
  • Banking: Get a separate business checking account for all transactions
  • Legal advice, paperwork, consultation regarding legal issues?
  • Clinical supervision questions, ethical issues

 

References:

 

The Paper Office, Fourth Edition: Forms, Guidelines, and Resources to Make Your Practice Work Ethically, Legally, and Profitably (The Clinician’s Toolbox) [Paperback]

Edward L. Zuckerman PhD (Author)

The Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner (PracticePlanners) [Paperback] Arthur E. Jongsma Jr. (Author), L. Mark Peterson (Author), Timothy J. Bruce (Editor)

Wiley offers over 20 treatment planners both in paper versions and in electronic format.

In addition, they have progress note planners and homework planners which contain handouts for clients.

The Clinical Documentation Sourcebook: The Complete Paperwork Resource for Your Mental Health Practice [Paperback]

Donald E. Wiger

The Clinical Documentation Sourcebook: A Comprehensive Collection of Mental Health Practice Forms, Handouts, and Records, 2nd Edition [Paperback]

Donald E. Wiger

 

 

Play Therapy Treatment Planning and Interventions: The Ecosystemic Model and Workbook (Practical Resources for the Mental Health Professional) [Kindle Edition]

Kevin John. O’Connor (Author), Sue Ammen (Author)

Therapist’s Guide to Clinical Intervention (Practical Resources for the Mental Health Professional) [Kindle Edition] Sharon Johnson (Author)

 

STEVEN A. LAZARUS, PSY.D., L.P.C. 8WEST DRY CREEK CIRCLE, #205 LITTLETON, CO 80120 (303) 267-2194

Copyright® 2016 Dr. Steven A. Lazarus. All Rights Reserved