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These Top Tips Help Kids Feel Secure During a Pandemic

At no time in your child’s life has the world ever been quite the way it is during the 2020 Coronavirus outbreak. Whether celebrating the surprise time off school, missing friends, or just wonder what is going on, your children have questions. Child and teen psychologists in Littleton know that the best communication with children needs to answer questions, provide reassurance, and at times be very honest. Here are some answers to help them understand and cope during these challenging times, broken down by age range.

Under Fives: The Preschool and Younger Crowd

For your very young child, less information is more. When talking to young children about disasters, keep communication short, simple, and reassuring. “We have to stay at home so people don’t get sick from the worst flu ever” or something similar is enough. Your child likely understands what it means to be sick; feel free to remind them about the last time they had a sore throat or cold. If they ask difficult questions about death, don’t lie. Promising that mommy, daddy, or grandparents won’t die is an empty reassurance and may not be true. Instead, focus on what you are doing to make it better—staying home, washing hands often, and covering your coughs. For a great visual demonstration of why soap is important, set up a demonstration using black pepper, water, and soap—see this viral post on a kindergarten teacher’s Instagram account  for video!

Grade School: 6-11

Elementary school students are at a unique age  where they can understand very well what is going on, but may have questions they are afraid to ask. Further, their lives are happily structured around routine, which you will need to help recreate. Think of an elementary school student’s day, marked by bells, guiding teachers, and friends—now think of how your home can become a similarly predictable environment during the “school day.” Many kids are still on Spring Break, which opens doors for permissive fun and tons of free time. But even the most fun-loving grade school kids will start seeking a routine—often in the form of “mom, I’m bored! Dad, there isn’t anything to do around here!” Find out what your elementary student’s school is doing during the outbreak and make it a part of your home life. Just like the youngest, keep communications simple and fear-free, but honest. Older children are more likely to be interested in reading the news themselves, or connecting facts to what they are learning in school. Make sure to help your child choose age-appropriate, accurate sources of information. Avoid personal blogs and opinion pieces and stick to public health sites for the most accurate information. Always remind your child that the adults have a plan in place to stay safe.

Middle and High School: 12-Adult

Your nearly grown-up child may seem to be handling this like an adult, but this is a scary situation with real repercussions. As schools close across the nation, seniors in high school are realizing they might miss out on once-in-a-lifetime fun events and worry about their prospects in college. Help your child to connect to the bigger picture and take action by searching for volunteer opportunities or other ways to actively help. Let them know it is okay to mourn for these experiences, no matter how trivial they may seem in the “grand scheme” and encourage them to stay involved with friends, family, and studies. Take old school traditions and creatively do these using social media.

For children and adults of all ages, don’t hesitate to open up and share feelings about the event. Avoid panic or drama, but it is okay to let your kids know that you are worried, frustrated, and, yes, even bored. Always share the ways that you manage these feelings , because your kids will be looking to you for advice! If you need additional support, child psychologists in Colorado are working hard to sanitize our in-person offices, as well as to provide telehealth support.

 

 

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How to Maintain Play Therapy Progress During Social Distancing

If your child has been seen for play therapy in Highlands Ranch or Littleton, you know how important it is to get right in there, in person, and engage. Further, since play therapy is typically geared toward kids aged seven and younger , the importance of being in-person is even greater. Unlike tweens and teens who are fairly comfortable by phone, screen, or video (and who may even prefer it!), younger children often rely more heavily on body language, touch, and physical distance and space to create meaning. But in a world where staying home is the best health advice, different strategies must be adopted. Here are three great ways to maintain your play therapy progress during social distancing.

Model feelings and empathy.

A pandemic is the perfect time to model pro-social activities such as empathy, helping others, and compassion. Telling your child “we have to stay at home to keep everyone from getting sick” shows them that their temporary discomfort has great benefits. If relevant, use real-life examples like neighbors or grandparents and emphasize how we are helping others by making good choices like staying at home. Express gratitude  for health, family, and safety. Share your own frustrations, worries, and sadness in an age-appropriate way, and show your child that life still goes on while one is worried or bored. Help your child express these feelings through words, or bust out some art and music supplies for a multi-sensory feelings activity.

Schedule a parent session with your Littleton child behavior psychologist.

During the outbreak, psychologists in Littleton and Highlands Ranch are considered essential employees. This means that we are typically able to continue working unless we become sick or our entire building closes. In addition, many Littleton psychologists are offering telehealth services. While your little one is not likely to want to interact with a video psychologist, this can be an important time for parents to learn behavior management tools, parenting strategies, and to receive support.

Try a formal parenting tool, such as PCIT or 1, 2, 3, Magic.

If you feel you are in over your head (or, if you just have so much time on your hands you need a side project), try a formal parenting intervention tool. Parenting tools such as “1, 2, 3, Magic” are available online and focus on decreasing negative behaviors while increasing positives, all while strengthening the parent-child bond. Parent Child Interaction Therapy, or PCIT, is a structured form of engagement that turns you, the parent, into the therapist, encouraging emotional expression, prosocial behaviors, increased verbalization, and deeper connection. While this sort of therapy is often done using a room with a two-way mirror, telehealth could be a great setting. To find out more about these tools, contact your child psychologist in Littleton.

If you do schedule a telehealth visit with your psychologist, make sure to have your child “visit,” even if he or she is not able to engage very long. This will preserve the relationship and allow your child the chance to tell their therapist all the great things they’ve been doing. Just because everyday life has slowed down, it does not stop. Prepare today for a successful tomorrow.

Learn more about play therapy

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Lighten Up with These Replacements for Everyday Activities

As the full force of the Coronavirus outbreak sweeps the world, negativity is almost as detrimental as disease. From panic buying to the actual death rate, this can seem like a pretty bleak time. Fortunately, your family psychologist in Littleton knows some tricks to make the best of this bad situation. Read on to find out some light ways to replace everyday activities that might make the day a little easier.

Score More Screen Time!

For kids and teens, the silver lining to this time might be a chance to score more screen time! Child psychologists and pediatricians typically recommend no more than an hour or two of screen time  for children, but during these circumstances, we make exceptions. A great rule of thumb is to consider your child’s previous screen time allowance and maintain this—but schooling, visiting relatives, or seeing your child psychologist by telehealth should not cut into it! This way, your child does not feel like they “miss out” or “waste” screen time on studying, calling loved ones, or getting important mental health treatment.

Learn in Place

Did you know Ivy League Schools are offering free classes? Especially for those sheltering in place, learning must be addressed. Some schools have online curriculums ready, while others are shutting down and considering summer sessions. Don’t let your child’s education slide! Help them learn in place (and help around the house) by engaging in cooking, cleaning, and home projects. Learn to play an instrument, take a drawing or photography class. Engage in a Lego challenge. Older children can conduct internet research, write poetry and blogs, and practice taking college entrance tests. Life doesn’t have to stop, it just has to stay inside.

Enjoy a Fancy, Restaurant-Style Dinner

Missing family dinner night? With restaurants closed, this could be the perfect opportunity to engage the whole family in recreating a restaurant-style dinner. Set the table with the nice dishes, bring out some tablecloths and fancy napkins, and even create a menu—this is the perfect activity for grade-school and middle-school kids to explore. Practice manners during dinner at your “Family Restaurant” so you don’t get stuck gobbling down meals on the couch!

Host a Concert or Movie

Your favorite entertainment venue is closed, so why not play pretend at home? This could take the form of a DJ set, where each family member gets to play their favorite songs, a sing-along concert or lip-synching contest, or even a “movie viewing” with your favorite snacks.

Go Visiting

Many of the world’s most amazing landscapes, museums, and art collections are available for virtual tours. Why not take a “family visit?” Have family members take turns “directing” the visit (such as advancing the webpage, zooming in, reading captions out loud), or even plan a shared virtual trip with family across the world! This can be a fun way for younger children to connect to distant relatives, as attention to a face on a screen can be quite low.

Remember, you can still go outside and play , as long as you stay away from others. Don’t forget to enjoy some physical activity during this period of quarantine! For more ideas and support during this process, contact Dr. Lazarus, psychologist in Littleton.

 

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The Parents’ Guide to Staying Sane During Quarantine

Parents are getting hit hard during the worldwide coronavirus outbreak. Most are stuck trying to “work” from home, usually while having kids home from school all day and worrying about aging parents who may need assistance. On top of it all, your favorite relaxation stations are probably shuttered for the next few months—gyms, theatres, sports, even restaurants and bars are becoming less of a home-away-from-home. So how can you maintain your sanity? Here are some tips from your trusted psychologist in Littleton.

Establish a New Routine, but…

While a week off to do nothing and have no plans sounds great if you’re visiting a beach, a week off at home to do nothing and to have all your plans flop around like fish out of water sounds awful! Even if you hate your “daily grind,” the familiar routine benefits you by reducing the number of decisions you have to make at any given moment. Without these constraints, you may find yourself working away until midnight, becoming unproductive, or just feeling constantly overwhelmed. Find your home rhythm and set clear times for work, meals, and family time, just like you would during a busy work week. If you are struggling with lack of work like many Americans, find your new routine—maybe this is the perfect time to help Junior memorize those multiplication tables, or finally tackle that pantry organization project. Setting a clear routine makes your life more predictable and manageable.

… Stay Flexible

At the same time, stay flexible. You can’t do everything, and that’s okay. Maybe some days you don’t put on your work clothes and “log in” by 9 a.m. Maybe you have “the blahs” and cuddle with the kids watching cartoons all day. With all the drawbacks we are facing, the least we can do is find some good in it! Similarly, cut your kids a break. They are more likely to express fear and anxiety through clinging, whining, and pestering, as well as “forgetting” all the basic rules. Show them you support them  through these difficult times.

Say “NO!”

If there are things that feel out of your control, or that you just can’t handle, feel free to say “no.” Setting strong boundaries is important, especially when times are tough, and can help you and your family stay safe. Start by saying “no” to requests to be out and about where you could be sick, and escalate to turning down extra responsibilities that you cannot handle. Prioritize your family and your mental health. Set clear limits, even with your children, because however you set the stage now will likely continue to play out for the next few weeks.

Encourage Independence and Value Alone Time

If your children are school-aged or older, they can entertain themselves for some time. They may argue otherwise, but your job is not to be the village entertainment. Set your child up with independent activities like viewing a favorite show, coloring, reading a book, or playing with toys, and go do what you need to do. This gives you time to decompress, and time to spend with your partner.  

Life will eventually return to normal, but until then, we all need to support ourselves and one another. If you find yourself needing someone outside of the house to talk to, do not hesitate to contact your Littleton psychologist. Set up a telehealth session, or visit in-person in our frequently-sanitized office.

 

 

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5 ways to help your child while they are stuck at home with online schooling.

We all need to work together as families and communities to deal with the current situation, social distancing, and risk of illness.  Here are some ideas for how to be successful with your kids for online schooling.

 

  • Have a consistent sleep schedule

 

Make a consistent bedtime every school night and wake up time in the morning. This is not only important for younger kids but for teens. (maybe it’s a bit later since kids don’t have to be at school so early. Have the kids take a shower, brush their teeth, have a healthy breakfast and get ready for the day.

 

  • Develop a plan for your school schedule

 

Develop a school schedule that allows your kids to remain focused and not get distracted. Perhaps, 9-10am School, 10-1030am, go outside and take a break. 10:30-11:30, school.  Lunch.  Quiet activity or something outside.    Any remaining school.

 

  • Create a distraction free environment

 

Have a computer/ Chromebook set up in such a way that your kids won’t get distracted easily.  Maybe create a quiet workspace.  Perhaps a kitchen table, office set up could be helpful.  Try to turn off on your wifi YouTube and other game sites during school times that could distract your kids.  Be mindful of distractions such as TV, kitchen noises, iPad/ phones. Have kids charge their devices away from their learning areas.  They can’t use their phones during classes at school, they should not have them during classes at home. (some exceptions may apply: such as a group chat for a high school class).

 

  • Get your kids more active

 

Encourage dog walks, shooting hoops, kicking a soccer ball, a short run.  Get outside with your kids. You have a unique opportunity to actually spend more time with them as most of us can’t go to work. Consider it a gift.

 

  • Incentivize getting things done

 

If your kids can do some of their work independently, they are showing great maturity and responsibility.  Their good choices are allowing you to do your work.  Track this on a chart or contract with your kids.(visual).

 

Maybe have a movie night on Friday (at home), grab some ice cream and have an ice cream sundae party.  Have a family game night.  Go for a hike, family bike ride, snowshoe excursion, fishing, make some fresh cookies with them.  Find ways to keep your kids happy, motivated and allow for some opportunities for them to help you and your family.

 

Finally, allow for some more creativity and flexibility in your approach to your kids and home routines.  Maybe some more online (with friends) gaming is allowed at this time. (not too much).  Maybe we can do some more with skype, facetime, webcams to communicate with our friends and families.  Take out those old board games, Legos, and books. Be kind to others.

If I can be of support to your kids or to you as parents during this difficult time, I am available still for face to face meetings in a quiet and safe set up and also am offering virtual (telehealth) therapy.

Dr. Steven Lazarus

You can click here to find out more about Dr. Steven Lazarus, child psychologist

 

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Information for families to help cope with Covid-19

I am putting together a list of resources and good articles to help families with our current situation. Jefferson County just issued a “stay-at-home” order until 4/17/2020.

Dr. Steven Lazarus

 

How to Explain Coronavirus to an Anxious Child

The importance of positive routines

“We Live in the Upside Down Now.” COVID-19 Meets ADHD.
“How am I supposed to manage all these people, plus myself, while we exist through this unprecedented, mostly-home-bound, wacky time?”
“Good enough” is good enough is a start →

Clinical Nutrition Center Treatment Center: Treatment and News

Dr. Lazarus is currently offering live virtual (telehealth) visits for those who are unable to visit in the office.

Click here for more information

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